Today I want to talk about gaining more confidence and overcoming self criticism in business. I have experienced my share of self criticism and lack of confidence while starting my businesses and I have a feeling many of you might be struggling with the same. Recently I have been experiencing a higher-than-normal amount of self doubt and criticism and wanted to get to the root of the problem. This seemed out of character for me because usually I have a great amount of self confidence in general.
Oddly, I have had quite a hard time getting myself in the right mental head space to officially launch MompreneurAdvice.com. This is odd to me because most often when I have an exciting business idea brewing in my mind it’s hard to stop myself from dedicating all my time and energy to the project! It’s odd because when I first came up with the idea for this blog I went from Idea > Full Website Creation in just a matter of days!
Then…the blog just sat here for several months with absolutely no posts and no enthusiasm on my part. I found my lack of motivation as maybe a fault in the idea itself and decided to shelve it and move on to other ideas.
Then, out of nowhere the inspiration for MompreneurAdvice.com started coming back to me, but at the slowest…pace…ever. I realized it was due to a lot of self criticism and doubt creeping into my brain every time I had an idea for a post or strategy for the direction of this blog. This was so disappointing because I really enjoy creating businesses, blogging and inspiring my fellow mompreneurs! My self doubts sounded like this:
“Maybe this idea will never really be successful.”
“Maybe I don’t really have what it takes to inspire other women to succeed in their business dreams and goals.”
“Maybe I don’t really have anything worthwhile to contribute.”
I did know all of these thoughts were silly because I have been dreaming up and creating businesses since I was a very young girl and have achieved very high levels of business experience in my 30 years on this planet. So, I wanted to figure out why my brain was telling me these silly lies.
I decided to search the web and found an inspiring book by fellow Mompreneur Tara Mohr called “Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message“. What a find! Tara’s insight on quieting your inner critic and embracing your inner and wiser mentor helped me decipher which thoughts in my head were just self criticisms and which were thoughts I should take seriously.
Here’s a few things I learned from reading Tara’s book which I think you will find inspiring as well:
Start to know how to recognize the voice of your own inner critic and see it as a critic voice
When you hear yourself doubting your abilities, get to know this voice and identify if it is speaking the truth, or just fear creeping up on you and hindering your abilities. Decide to take action even when you are feeling tremendous self doubt. Getting to know this voice will help decipher if it is reality based thinking or fear
based thinking. Tara believes we need a new relationship with our self doubt and to learn how to listen to it but not take direction from it. If you hear a voice that is anxious, repetitive, worst case scenario but not looking for solutions to move your forward, this is probably your inner critic. Your inner critic is the voice trying to scare you back into your comfort zone.
Develop a relationship with your inner and wiser mentor voice
This is really a voice coming from your self 20 or 30 years in the future telling you what you should be focusing on and striving for. Consult with her on how she would solve your current situation, how she would approach the situation. This will help get you out of a fear based, ego place and into a more loving, wise, centered way of furthering yourself in this world.
- Question the voice in you that is saying “I’m not ready yet”
- Respect your callings
- Remember that whatever feedback you receive from others (i.e. in social media) is really just interesting feedback about the people offering it and not about you as a person
Tara saw many women with the same underlying issues which are:
- Playing Small
- Self Doubt
- Not Knowing How to Handle Praise and Criticism
- Not Knowing How to Work with the Inner Critic
- Hiding Strategies
She saw these similarities in women from many different backgrounds and situations, though they all experienced the same fears and lack of self confidence in their approach to business situations. Tara started taking all of her clients through the same sequence and eventually developed a 6 month leadership course on confidence and quieting the inner critic, which eventually lead to her book “Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message“.
Tara’s approach has been wildly successful so I decided to put her strategies into my own business practices and have seen excellent results! After reading the book I suddenly felt inspired to tackle my dreams and move forward with the blog you are reading now. I’m so excited for what the future has in store for me!
Tara Mohr’s Book “Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message“:
Learn more about Tara Mohr online at www.taramohr.com
What have been some obstacles you have faced with overcoming your inner critic? What are some strategies you have used to build your self confidence and achieve your goals in business? Comment below!